It was the 7th September, 35+4 weeks along enjoying the beautiful day, until the afternoon came around and I had realised that little Milly hadn’t made any noticeable movements, I started on the sugary food/icy waters, little bit of tapping on the stomach to see if I could get her moving.. but nothing worked.. I continued for another hour trying to see if I could feel anything but nothing. I had started panicking and started to get really upset as deep down I knew this wasn’t right. Off I went into the Maternity ward to be checked, the midwife tried and tried so hard to get a heartbeat and she just couldn’t, she had to get the doctor in to do a bed side ultrasound, he confirmed then that ‘I’m so sorry Taylor, but I can’t find a heartbeat’ I dropped. I just couldn’t believe that this was somehow happening to me so close to then end of pregnancy.
Those words and that moment have truly scarred me.
The 9th of September came around and I was being induced to try bring our beautiful girl earthside. But my body was flat out refusing, I just couldn’t get into labour and made the heartbreaking decision that I’d go in for a cesarean section. It was very quiet in the room. My partner and I both nervous! The most beautiful midwife was there, she laid Milly on my chest and oh how peaceful did my baby girl look, she was so beautiful! She had dark hair and the most precious little features I’ve seen, she was the most beautiful little girl! We spent the next 3 days in hospital with Milly, her 3 big brothers got to come and visit and love on her, they cuddled and kissed her so much, they were such proud big brothers! Trevor and I barely slept, we just wanted to spend all our time with Milly before we couldn’t anymore. Those days in hospital were HARD. But so beautiful! I’m glad we got the opportunity to have that time with our girl, letting our nearest and dearest come and love on her aswell.
She was and always will be so loved by everyone around her! I’ll continue to talk about Milly Sophia and make sure the memory of her lives on for a lifetime.
Heartfelt words shared by Taylor Desmond- mother of Milly Sophia