This time last year we were still joyfully awaiting the arrival of our second baby boy who would become known as Harry.
Little did we know that on the 1 July 2019 all our hopes and dreams for Harry would come to a halt as we learnt his beautiful little heart had stopped beating.
I didn’t realise it had happened, but something was telling me I needed to check in with the hospital that everything was OK, just a routine check-up…
I never thought that something like this would happen to us. I even thought that the midwife searching for his heartbeat was inexperienced because she wasn’t able to find it… reality took a really long time to sink in.
We didn’t have the most straightforward pregnancy with Harry. There were some growth issues in the earlier weeks, but these had somehow sorted themselves out by week 33, and by week 35/36 we were extremely happy and positive about his arrival.
I guess this is why it felt so cruel that the day that Harry reached full term at 37 weeks he would be abruptly taken from us, with his autopsy proving inconclusive. We still don’t understand why this happened to us… and never will.
On Wednesday, 3 July 2019, our gorgeous boy Harry Mansell Quinlan was born sleeping. He was tall and a healthy weight. He was perfect with delicate features and fabulous dark hair.
We had so many hopes for you my darling boy. We so looked forward to you being best buds with your brother and to enjoy growing up, side by side. We will miss you forever and want to wish you the most wonderful first birthday wherever you are.
I found it very hard to share our news with people, especially those who knew we were expecting a baby. I hope our story can help to lessen the taboo associated with discussing stillbirth and miscarriage because sadly it’s a real thing that real people go through far too often in Australia.
I hope those planning on starting a family can be educated on the reality and the risks, and know what to look for and be mindful of.
A moment in our arms, a lifetime in our hearts. May your existence and our loss not be in vain, my darling Harry.
We love you xxx
Parents to Harry Mansell Quinlan.