A Letter to my Grandson - by Andrea Fuller

Dearest precious Mars,

You have generated so much love. It is a healing story. Can I share your story? Yes, I see that rainbow. Thank you, Mars.

On June 29th (your due date) you were born, Mars Louis Fuller, our perfect, beautiful grandson and you brought with you so much love. So much love that it was palpable in the room. And the healing began.

Two days before your birth, when we were all getting excited for your arrival, wondering whether you were to be a girl or a boy, we were told the news that no parent-to-be or grandparent ever wants to hear: Your little heartbeat had stopped.

Oh Mars! The grief. The unspeakable sadness. Unfathomable. Unimaginable.

But little Mars, you need to know that the mum and dad you chose, Kristen and Louis, are the most caring, courageous parents and their love is so strong. I don’t have enough words to tell you how grateful we are for their calm, positive energy and for their generosity in allowing us to share your journey. It is helping us all to heal.

For the precious days you were here Mars, we all fell in love with you. You were held gently and cuddled by family. Most of all by your mum and dad. You would have heard us crying and laughing and your dad singing and playing his guitar to you. And the hospital staff were so caring, supportive and helpful.  The room resonated love and positive energy and peacefulness. Could you also feel the love that came pouring in from family and friends, and friends of friends, near and far? So much love.

I remain immensely saddened that you will not have the benefit of growing up with the most amazing parents you could have chosen. And they will not have the joy of experiencing the wonderful person I know you would grow to be.

Your story is now our story, partly one of grief and loss, but also Mars, it is a story of immense love and strength, of caring and sharing, of family and friends supporting each other. Being able to share in their most profound personal sorrow, your parents gave us a deep connection to you Mars. And with the name they chose we have more than a roadmap, we have a celestial pathway to navigate our grief!

Thank you, Mars, for yours is a story of healing. You are engulfed in so much love and you will remain in our hearts forever.

Love Nandi and Poppy xx

Written by Andrea Fuller – Grandmother to Mars Louis Fuller